Family....

Isn't family supposed to be the people you go to whenever everyone else has turned their back on you?

Isn't your family supposed to make you feel loved and cherished?

Aren't they supposed to support you in your decisions and love you no matter what?


Yeah...that is what I thought.

I know I may sound like a typical young person who is angry with their family, but so much has happened in this house that every time I come here all I feel is miserable. I dealt with so much pain and misery here that stemmed from conflicts with my family that I cannot come here anymore without wanting to crawl in a hole and cry. I can easily think of ten places I could be happy and I want to just drop everything and go there. NOW.

I have no reason to feel this way. Everyone has been civil and cordial and they have told me how much they miss me and that they love me.

But I cant help but feel like I don't belong here. That I need to leave.

I've made my own life and I miss it terribly.

I just want to go home, and home...is NOT here....

Once again I try to keep up with a Blog.....

So my good friend Laura has been posting blog updates on her blog, A Flicker of An Eye, and it has fueled my fire for wanting to try to keep up my own blog again. I may even feel confident to post them on Facebook. Who knows?






So basically..its been almost 1.75 years since I've posted so an update on my life: 

 I am starting my sophomore year of college, and I am a systems engineering major. I am currently working TWO jobs on my campus (yes you read correctly. I said two.) I am a Resident Adviser as well as a MAPS Coach. 

 As a Resident Adviser I am employed by the Housing and Residence Life here on campus to live in the residence halls and kind of monitor what is going on as well as keep my residents informed as to what is going on here on campus while also monitoring any behavior I notice (good or bad). 

 MAPS is a thing here at my school which stands for Maximizing Academic and Professional Success. Basically I work with Freshman students in the College of Engineering and I try to coach them through their first semester as a college student. Its really fun because I wanted to work with Freshman anyways, plus I get to meet some pretty cool kids. (Also some...characters haha)

I didn't post a lot last year because I honestly had a lot of trouble transitioning into college life, and to be frank, I was miserable for most of my Freshman year. However, this year has been going so well I feel it is making up for last year. I like working and learning how to present myself for my MAPS classes and I like being an RA and helping people find things on campus.

People always ask me why I chose those jobs, or Systems Engineering for that matter, when I get so nervous presenting things in front of people. Basically, that is exactly why I chose those jobs. I chose things that I knew I needed to work at. I hate to fail at something. So I figured if I chose jobs that would require me to be social and present then it would force me to become good at it. :D (That is a life lesson you guys, make sure you take note of it!)

:)

I am currently trying to decide whether or not to take a summer class and try to work as an RA on campus for the summer. I think it would be nice plus....I WOULDN'T HAVE TO WORK AT WALMART FOR THE SUMMER. (Yeah so I worked at Walmart last summers as the freaking PHONE OPERATOR, and I hated it. Customers are just mean. Now some of the people I worked with were amazing, and that was the only part about it that I liked. But yeah....working here over the summer is looking to be high up on my list of things to do.)

Other random updates....OMG 
One of my best friends, Emily, is thinking about going to school here next year and I am SO EXCITED. Even if she doesn't go here, the fact that she is even considering it is amazing. Maybe that means my love of my school is rubbing off on her. :) 

So I'm hoping this wont end up like a diary or anything, but I'm going to post random things on here from time to time. So I hope whatever readers I have will enjoy it as much as I am enjoying writing it. 

Peace out peoples!! :D

^Random picture basically outlining Engineering Life..........

-Lexey :)